Divorce
isn't the end of a love story. It is a new beginning! Done right
with mediation, embrace it and move on!
Why mediation, as opposed to litigation, will save
you time, big money $$$$, and family decay:
Did you know that you don't need to hire an attorney before you go to
mediation for divorce?
Call us first!
We can help you find an attorney that will assist you in
completing your divorce, after you have mediated your property and child
custody issues. We believe in mediation, not litigation.
If you are
contemplating divorce in Texas and have considered consulting with a
divorce attorney on your own, you may first want to explore the benefits
of working together with a mediator in divorce mediation.
Divorce mediation will not only save you and your spouse the
considerable time and expense of an adversarial legal proceeding, but it
will also shelter you and your children from the most harmful emotional
effects of your divorce.
For these reasons, divorce mediation is a procedure that more and more
divorcing couples are employing and Divorce Mediation Professionals,
such as Dr. Barbara Manousso and Manousso Mediation mediators, are the professionals they are using to help
them.
We don't negotiate your divorce for you. We
assist youto make the resolution plan. It is your
life, isn't it!
"Family mediation" means the mediation
of disputes in actions for divorce,
annulment, establishment of paternity,
child custody or visitation, or child or
spousal support.
Mediation programs can be very
beneficial to people who are divorcing
as well as to those who have long been
divorced but who find themselves in a
dispute in their post-divorce
relationship. Not only can it save money
but it promotes positive dispute
resolution rather than adversarial
procedures. That being so, it is well
worth investigating by any couple facing
divorce, a child custody fight, a
visitation dispute, or other
interpersonal conflict.
Mediation is a process that may help you
resolve your case so you can have an
uncontested divorce. Mediation is
particularly useful in situations
involving children, since it is in the
interests of the children that their
parents "get along" even if they will no
longer live together as husband and
wife. In the State of Texas, all cases
that involve contested custody or
visitation matters are referred to
mandatory mediation, provided the
parties are represented by an attorney
and there is no allegation of domestic
abuse.
Mediation attempts to change disputes
from "win-lose" to "win-win." Mediation
is a non-adversarial process of helping
people come to agreement on issues like
parenting arrangements, support of
children and spouses and division of
real and personal property. Mediation
occurs when a neutral third-party, who
has training in dispute resolution,
assists you and your spouse and helps
you resolve the issues that are causing
conflict and to make cooperative,
informed decisions.
Mediation can be used to resolve the
entire range of family disputes either
before a divorce takes place in order to
consummate a marital settlement
agreement, as well as after the divorce
to resolve continuing disputes that
might arise under a marital settlement
agreement.
A
history of abuse or allegations of abuse
preclude mediation and the court will
not refer for mandatory mediation of
child custody or visitation any
situation where abuse has been evident.
Mediation should not be used when there
has been evidence of domestic violence
or abuse or there is a great difference
in power between the parties. For the
mediation process to work there must be
some degree of trust between the
parties.
Until the last 10 years or so, just
about the only course for divorcing
couples was to hire lawyers to do
battle for them. Often the spouses
would not even speak with each
other, “communicating” only through
their attorneys. And attorneys
proliferated. The addition of “no
fault” to divorce
laws has given rise to an emerging
alternative for divorcing couples:
mediation. Mediation is the
process in which the divorcing
couple works out its problems,
disagreements, and marital issues
with a trained, impartial third
party—the mediator. The mediator
assists the couple in resolving its
differences in a constructive way to
reach a “win-win” decision rather
than the adversative “winlose”
situation.
As one mediator described the
process, “Mediation is neither
therapy, nor the law—it’s an
educational process.”
Usually, the couple attends
an orientation session in which
the mediator thoroughly explains
the process of mediation such as
what the couple should focus on,
how they
should speak to each other (keep
raised voices down), and so on.
The session may last for two
hours.
After the initial session, the
couple attends three to eight
one-and-a-half- to two-hour
sessions in which the mediator
will guide them to make their
own decisions on how
they wish to end their
marriage. They analyze their
budgets and needs, divide
marital property, review their
children’s needs, and reorganize
their family and life-style to
fit its new structure.
Mediators place special emphasis
on providing an acceptable form
of continuity where children
are concerned and may even
include children in the sessions
if warranted.
The process allows the parties
to analyze their situations and
to understand each other’s needs
as well as those of the
children. It may alleviate the
anger and bitterness that the
couples initially may
feel toward each other. It also
makes the couple
realize
that although they may not be
husband
and wife, they are still
parents. It encourages their
cooperation with each other in
determining their relationship
with their children.
Once the couple decides on what
they wish to do, the mediator
draws up a memorandum of
understanding that specifies
what
issues have been resolved. This
statement is then given to the
couple’s respective attorneys,
who will draw up a formal
separation agreement based on
the statement, or the couple can
file it with the court.
The mediator may also be a marriage
counselor, social worker,
psychologist, or lawyer trained in
family and divorce mediation.
At any rate, the mediator should
have received formal training from a
recognized program or institute.
They should be versed in family
budgeting, the law, tax consequences
of divorce, and a variety of options
and alternatives crucial to
contemplating divorce.
There are professional mediators who
earn their living by providing
divorcing couples mediation services
on all issues. These professionals
can be invaluable in helping couples
resolve property and support issues,
but also will assist with custody
and visitation disputes. Divorce
attorneys and family counselors can
often refer families to professional
family law mediators.
Mediators do not
offer any legal advice. They
do not act in the capacity of legal
counsel. If you have legal
questions, please seek an attorney.
The major differences between
mediators and lawyers are that the
mediator assists you and your spouse
in working out your disagreements
together; emphasizes the
restructuring of the family from a
practical point of view, in addition
to the legal side; pays more
attention to your emotional needs;
and, is impartial, representing
neither you nor your spouse, but
both. Unlike the legal adversarial
system, mediation is more sensitive
to the integrity of the marriage. It
tries to build on the strengths of
the relationship, avoiding the
“we’ll get him/her” so common with
the adversarial position.
The cost of mediation can vary.
Manousso Mediation bases the fee on
$300 an hour, with a three hours
minimum. On average, divorce
mediation takes about six hours, but
it can also take a few days.
The mediator(s) follow the flow of
the parties. This is not a
process that should be rushed.
It usually is requested that
both parties
contribute to the costs, eliminating
any possible feelings that the one
who pays may be getting
preferred treatment. Sessions
also may be held with co-mediators,
a man and a woman
for example.
Statistics show that court-ordered
child support and alimony payments
tend to lag after two years and tend
to be ignored entirely after five
years. Experience so far has shown
that people tend to abide by
agreements reached through
mediation.
Both
mediation and arbitration involve a
neutral third party who is not a judge.
In mediation, the neutral party -- the
mediator -- helps the spouses to
negotiate an agreement and has no power
to make decisions. In arbitration, the
neutral third party -- the arbitrator --
listens to the facts and then decides
the case, like a judge does.
